Mandy's Minute

What’s the deal with people and their need to comment about a child with a physical challenge?  My niece was born with a club foot and my sister is not only reminded everyday just by virtue of being her mother but then to have to deal with the publics need to comment on the child’s foot is utterly ridiculous!  If you are a mother, you typically have guilt about something; whether it be breastfeeding or formula feeding, working too much or having your children in daycare, you name it, but when your child is born with a physical or mental challenge, you wonder, what did I do wrong?  What could have I done better? 

In my sister’s case, the doctors told her that the club foot was due to the “packaging” of the baby when in the womb.  In other words, my sister’s uterus was not large enough for the baby and my niece’s foot got into a confined spot and it resulted in club foot.    I remember when she was born and the doctors where checking her out and my sister’s husband told her that their daughter had a club foot.  I could see the array of emotions come across her face.  She being my little sister, it broke my heart.  I wanted to take the hurt away but I couldn’t and when she looked over at me, as if hoping for me to say “it’s not true,” I confirmed what her husband said and per the doctors it was something that could be fixed.  

So, for nearly the first 12 months of my niece’s life, she was back and forth to Children’s Hospital to have her foot casted to help move it into correct placement.  Once she started crawling the cast started shifting so they started casting all the way up to her thigh and that’s really when the looks and comments started. People look at you like you broke your child’s leg but some even feel the need to say “What’s wrong with her?” or “What did you do to her leg?”  Now, I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t fathom asking someone I don’t know in the grocery store or a restaurant, “what’s wrong with your kid?”  Sometimes my sister would answer, “What do you mean?  She’s perfect.”  or when she felt like having fun she’d say “She went rock climbing or sky diving and had a mishap.”  But ultimately, the comments and questions made her feel terrible and at times it made her cry – privately, of course. 

Currently at this time, after two surgeries, my neice wears a brace instead of a regular shoe to help with her foot placement.  The doctors say her calf and foot will likely always be a little smaller than her other calf and foot but the good news is that her legs are both the same length.  And although she will likely need one more surgery to help release the tendon, she will eventually not have to wear the brace and no one will be the wiser.  The other blessing in this is she won’t remember the comments and questions from strangers.  Unfortunately, her mother will and although my sister chalks it up to ignorance, it can be very hurtful.  So, in short, I hope people actually stop and engage their brain before they open their mouth and start with their comments or questions when they see a child or an adult for that matter, who has physical and/or mental challenges when out in public.

In this day in age, people look at you crossed-eyed when you tell them you feed your child jarred baby food.  When did this become a bad thing?  So since I was feeling guilty and since I want to provide my child with a variety of foods and textures, I was excited about my purchase of the Green Sprouts Baby Food Mill.  Well, my excitement dwindled once I started using it.   The concept is good but it could use some improvements.  My two biggest gripes are that one, you have to push down rather hard to move the food up the cylinder while grinding the food up.  And two, it’s messy; especially if you’re trying to grind foods that have water in them (which is like all fruits and vegetables) as the water runs down and onto the counter top.  It would be nice if the base had a suction cup to provide some stability when grinding.  It’s pretty easy to clean, I’ll give them that and it’s BPA free plastic.  It is NOT a pureer, it is a  grinder.  Therefore the food has far more texture, which is another thing I liked for my older baby.  Needless to say, overall, I am disappointed that the ease of use is not better.

My son is nearly 10 months old now and still suffers from an occasional bout of reflux.  Just when I think he’s  overcome it, today it reared it’s ugly head again.  

From birth I knew something was not quite right.  He hated being laid down flat on his back.  He would cry like he was uncomfortable and had what I called the “guppy” mouth going.  It was like he was constantly trying to swallow something down.  I was very apprehensive in being sent home when I told the doctors something was not quite right.  Well, within the first 24 hours of being home, I put him down to sleep after nursing him and stepped away to go to the bathroom and heard thrashing in the bassinet.  I went running in to find that his mouth was full of refluxed milk and he was having difficulty breathing.  S-C-A-R-Y!  I immediately turned him to his side and cleared out his mouth but his breathing seemed labored and he looked a little blue so I called 911.   The fire department came and checked him out and said he sounded like he had a cold and that we should probably take him to ER.  So we did.  It was finally one of the ER nurses who actually saw what I was talking about with the “guppy” mouth that said he probably had Infant GER or Infant Acid Reflux.   (God bless nurses!)

After the visit to the ER at 3 a.m. we got a call from our pediatrician later that morning for us to bring him in tot he office.  Since he had lost 10% of his weight, he was admitted into the hospital for observation to try to figure out what exactly was going on.  The nurses saw right away what I was talking about and luckily when the doctor was making his evening rounds, he witnessed a reflux episode.   Finally, we had an official diagnosis.   The doctor prescribed a sleeping wedge and medication to help reduce the acidity in his stomach.  I was a little reluctant to put him on medication at 4 days old but it was extremely helpful for him.   The wedge on the other hand was not.  He HATED the wedge.  He would not, I repeat, would not sleep in the wedge.   So for the first 4 months of his life, he slept on me, while I slept sitting up.  You read it right, while I slept sitting up.  I started sleeping sitting up in the bed but after 3 weeks my butt hurt sooo badly I had to move to the couch.  It’s not an easy feat and after 4 months, I decided as a birthday gift to myself, it was time to train him to sleep in his crib.  For him it took some getting used to and he never slept on his back, only on his sides but after 2 weeks, he was sleeping in his crib.  After he turned 6 months old, I weaned him off the medication and he has been able to handle his episodes quite well.  I really hope that once he turns 1 and then starts walking that, that will be the end of his reflux days.

I’ve been wanting to set up my own blog since the birth of my son and asked my husband over Christmas if he could help me as my Valentine’s Day gift.  He came in tonight while I was doing laundry and changing a diaper and said “it’s up!”   Finally a place to call my own…that is, a place to write about my day, my week, my life…the joys and trails of being a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a business owner, a sister-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a woman, a person!  My likes and dislikes of products, politics, people, places and things.  I do not have an endless fountain of money or famous parents.  I would classify myself as an average person trying to manage.  Hopefully my blog will inspire others, help those faced with similar circumstances, assist in decision making for families and to let people know they are not alone in their fight.  I’m looking forward to sharing my everyday life with you.